Bittersweet Day

It's a bittersweet day for me today....

It's my first day of not pumping at work.

It starts off as such a chore-I was doing it 3 times a shift when I first went back!  Then it was twice a shift for awhile and probably for the past 2 months it's just been once a shift. That chore sort of became my "break" from everything-just me in an office doing my thing in peace and quiet. It becomes an escape almost.

My half hour lunch break for the past 10 months has consisted of pumping and shoveling my food in my mouth. I'm glad to have that time to actually eat now and I'm looking forward to warmer weather so I can actually go outside and walk a bit. I really missed that all last summer. I have no windows really near me so I never have a clue what's going on outside all day long. So that'll be nice to be able and get out here and there.

Of course part of it saddens me that this chapter in my life is closed. My baby is growing up and soon enough will be fully weaned. This week I'm cutting out her final nap session so she'll be down to nursing just at bedtime and first thing in the morning. Part of me is screaming "Freedom!" and  the other part of me is sad. Such is life.

It definitely was strange going into work and leaving work today with one less bag...I totally felt like I was forgetting something all day long. And since it's freezing out, I didn't go walking and actually found myself sort of bored during lunch! 

I'm sure I'll find something to do with my time.